Friendships Lost

I have been going through all the pictures on my computer. I have never been in the habit of posting all my pictures to Facebook right after I take them, so they all sit on my c drive collecting dust. I enjoyed looking through all of my travel photos of Greece, Italy, and Germany, but not as much as all my pictures from college.

I had the best group of friends. We were all pretty inseparable for a while, and a few people may still be. Even the "friends of friends" I had were amazing people. Honestly, there is only one person from my dorm I talk to on a regular basis. I am sure this is normal, as far as graduating from college and moving on with your life goes, but I really loved these people. 

Sure, most of our interactions and extracurricular events involved getting f*d up, but in the process, I know we shared genuine moments. We all helped each other through a huge transitional period in our lives. 

My feelings about this topic are much stronger than I am successfully putting into words. Sometimes I am hesitant to use the term "best friend", maybe because my little sister always gets offended. But I am going to use it here anyway, unfortunately in the past tense.

I don't talk to my best friend from college anymore. Actually, it would be more accurate to say they don't talk to me. Regardless, I think about the loss of this friendship every single day. I won't go into details for the sake of this person's privacy, but we had a fell out because I was too angry to listen or to forgive. 

I understand now, looking back, my reaction was the turning point. I would say I regret it, but I can't, you see. Even though we have not spoken in years, I know this person would not have the life they have now had I not done what I did in the moment. My life would probably be different as well. Unfortunately my feelings on regret won't change how much I miss this person. 

You live and you learn. No one said it is easy, or that it feels good to reflect on mistakes, but they will change you. I am not the same person I was before college. I cherish interactions more than I used to, and I am less judgmental.