Post #40

After spending months doing not much more than enjoying myself, I am beginning to feel ready for some risk taking. I'm ready to figure out what I want, how I am going to get it, and hear "no" from everyone and their mother until I am where I want to be.

I could wait to get lucky, for life to hand me something - but I'm in a fightin' mood, so why waste it?

I have a feeling the hardest part is taking the first step - actually setting goals. Once I have a clear vision, it's simply a matter of simple yes or no decisions to keep me in the right direction.

More to come, boo-yah, goodnight

Marci *wishing I had some wine*

Belief ya"ll

It has been almost a month since I have written. Oh well, I'm back now.

I wrote a post roughly titled Are you a Cynic?  a while back. I was talking about a book I'm reading called Exploring the Unseen World, and its all about paranormal and psychical research. Sometime between writing that post and now I went back to Robert's bookstore and ended up buying Strangers Among Us by Ruth Montgomery (1979). 

This book is one of those books that is so out there most people wouldn't even pick it up. The author has a group of spirit guides that guide her in automatic writing and answer all sorts of her questions about the spiritual world. She talks about The Flow, Walk-ins, the coming shift of the earth's axis, healing energies, and all sorts of other topics. 

The chapter I read this morning was about channeling energies. She was talking about people successfully dissolving clouds "simply by believing it can be done." Her next example: manifesting parking spots. She told a story as an example of this consistently working which astounded me; not because I found it inconceivable  but because it mirrored one of my own experiences almost exactly. 

I found myself smiling reading this whole chapter. In the last year, I have delved into spirituality with an entirely open mind, having no religious conflicts it has really been quite simple. I don't know about dissolving clouds, though if there were a cloud in the sky today I would have tried it. Honestly, I never use to understand why people need to believe in something.

I don't understand it completely yet, but I am beginning to understand that belief may be the most powerful experience we can have. Something science can't explains happens when a person has faith. From the outside looking in it may seem crazy, but when you are the believer... you feel something, a knowing. It is more than a mere thought or identity.

I am always thinking about what I believe. Right now there are only bits and pieces, I can't write a nice neat paragraph on it.
~ Energy, intuition, love - I believe these are powerful things. 

~ I believe we are mind and body, sharing the brain.
~ I believe we are of the Earth and a wrong if we ever believe we own any part of it.
~ Lastly I believe dreams are more than what we think they are. 

It feels personal to talk about, but I think that is only because we are so judgmental about each others beliefs. We keep them to ourselves so they don't get scratched. 

I need to go bring the pup in from the yard, but google Ruth Montgomery and give me your thoughts.
Marci :)

Achy-flaky Morning

My spots are getting out of control. I found an OTC topically coal tar that seemed to be helping quite a bit, but I have a bunch of new spots and every part of my epidermis is incredibly itchy. The spot on my nose is getting bigger.

Thomas stayed home sick today; I gave him my cold. I want to go get him the box of amazing organic herbal tea I drank while I was sick, but my knees are malfunctioning. They won't bend, and they won't straighten.

So I am sitting here on my memory-foam mattress thinking about psoriatic arthritis. Because this is my blog, and my space to freely voice my opinion, I am going to honestly tell you all how I feel, even if it makes someone feel like an asshole.

Not a lot of people know much about the disease I have. It doesn't really kill people, so who cares? I want to tell you what it does, because I shouldn't have to feel like a lazy, spotted, itchy, gimpy, complainy person.

Psoriasis creates itchy, often painful raised flaky spots all over my body, including one spot covering about 70% of my scalp right now. Everywhere I go I leave a trail of flakes, and there isn't anything I can do about it. People tell me to "stop it", tell me it's "gross" and stare. If I don't take care of it, it becomes severe very quickly. To take proper care of my skin I should spend a few hours every day applying lotion or medication to every spot, avoid chemicals in shampoos, soaps, lotions, etc., and go tanning 3 times a week.

Psoriasis can be very time consuming and expensive to manage and can be very socially isolating. No matter what you do, you will get "looks" from people everyday, so it's best to get over that real quick.

Psoriatic arthritis sucks the life energy away from my body, then blesses me with unpredictable pain. It is always somewhere, but moves around my body with different intensities. When mild I'll have a dull aching or just bones that feel pushed together. On average, I usually have one or two major joints at a time that have severely limited mobility. I won't be able to lift my arm, or bend a knee, or move my leg for instance. And when a flare becomes severe my brain becomes fuzzy, all I can see is red and my entire body will spasm with the most unimaginable pain that makes it difficult to breathe.  

There are a lot of things that I want to do but just can't. I often have to cancel plans I make. This is why now, I practically refuse to make plans. I don't want to have to call and tell anyone how terrible I feel, I just want to have the freedom to hide away when I am hurting too much. I really don't have to ability to commit to anything that involves being clear headed or physically present.

I haven't figured out how to convey this to people. they get frustrated when I can't commit one way or the other, they make me feel like they think I'm just lazy. I know I have people out there that care about me and have been good friends to me, but I don't have anyone in my life right now, other than my mom and my boyfriend, that calls to talk or wants to hang out with me. I quit seeing the majority of my friends when I quit being about to drink. Now, I choose not to drink much ever because my body will just hurt too much later.

I have come a long way in learning to live with this condition. When my skin first broke out I covered every spot with clothing. By the time swim season came around I was forced to get over that. I had a friend in college who told me once how much he admired my being comfortable with people talking to me about my skin and not trying to hide it. I wasn't as strong as I seemed to be then, but his complement brought out the strength I had been feigning. In fact, he is still the person I call when I need a good friend.  

It's a good thing I learned to live with the psoriasis, because the arthritis came on quickly. I was officially diagnosed when I was 21. It has been three years, of which quite a bit is fuzzy, but that's okay. I feel like all the pain has made me appreciate all the little things in life so much more. I used to get caught up in drama, or work too much, but I can't really do that now. I spend all the time I can doing what I enjoy; reading, writing, going to the beach, hanging out with my animals.

Thomas is quitting his job and we are working together on two businesses right now. Hopefully someday soon we can move somewhere warm, preferably within close proximity to a beach and some hot springs. For now, my knees feel slightly better so I am going to go get what I need to take care of this sick boy!

Happy hump day ya'll.

My Reply to Your Negative Commentary

The biggest problem I see out there is how much people prefer to identify with their particular opinion and spend their energy attacking others. What, besides our egos, keeps us from having meaningful, constructive, problem solving conversations? Believe it or not, our government prefers us to be at each others throats, rather than unified.

Sure there are issues we won't all agree on, but why not talk about something we can. Hunger? Homelessness? Our system being designed to create both while others, more specifically .001% of our population collects all the material wealth left in our country? Our money being worth nothing yet we are told we need to get a job and work for it? Maybe we can agree our education system is completely broken, which I believe is to blame for most of the terribly uneducated, poorly written commentaries out there. Or maybe we can find common ground talking about our medical system and how it kills more people every year than anything other than heart disease and cancer, and preventative medicine is totally unavailable to anyone below upper middle class. Of course maybe this wouldn't be the case if our food supply wasn't packed full of hormones, antibiotics, toxins, GMOs, and filler chemicals. And again, to afford quality food, you have to live in the right place and not be poor.

Let's quit bringing each other down and start helping each other up, eh?

Business Launch!

Sorry it has been a while since my last post. I decided to take a vacation and spent this last week up in Seattle. This weekend Thomas and I really put in some time on Graphite Penguin and are ready to announce our new business.

Click the link, check out the website. Feedback is always great. Share with anyone you think may be interested.

Thomas is still working on the portfolio page, he has a few more great designs that aren't up on the site yet. I will be spending this week learning about SEO and how copy-writing ties into page optimization. I am also at the point where I an comfortable working in HTML so I am moving on to CSS! 

We will be ironing out our fees for all of the different services we will offer. So if any of you have input on what these service would be worth to you, please share. We will be offering graphic design, web design, sales and marketing copy-writing, business card and brochure designs so far.

We have great energy going into this are are very excited about what is to come! 

Project: Lincoln City Guide

I am working on creating a simple map of Lincoln City. I think there are only a few more roads I want to add. Then I think I will mark beach access, tide pools, easy beach access, and all the best businesses in town. I am not sure what my plan is with this, but maybe I will try and make it interactive.

The roads I included are what I think are the best roads to get through town, and HWY 101. If you have ever been to Lincoln City in the summer you understand how bad traffic can get. Since I know my way around so well, I thought maybe I could help other people skip the traffic where possible.

For the beach accesses, I thought I would write a brief review of each one including whether there is parking, stairs, drive on, tide pools, and where it is important to check the tide first. Also, where to go for the best bonfires.

As far as businesses go, I would include the Cultural Center, Culinary Center, the library, the casino, the mall, and all my favorite stores. I also want to include all the information I can on outdoor activities. It seems to me many people don't even notice the lake in the middle of town, which has many great spots. I will probably include locally owned boutique motels.

If you can think of any information you would want about visiting a little beach town, I want to hear your ideas! My main focus is going to be free things to do and locally owned businesses. I may even end up making a dedicated site for my interactive guide.

Happy Tuesday! Hope you are smiling :)        

New Look and a Shout-out for Thomas' Blog & Graphic Designs

I have a new custom favicon, have you noticed? In case you don't know, a favicon is the little tiny picture that goes next to the title of a webpage on the tab at the top of your browser. Mine is probably a little too detailed, so it didn't come out great. It's only a 32 x 32 px image.

You probably also noticed my new header image, I am considering re-sizing it, but I might not because I kinda like that it is almost too big. This picture is of my happy place, and yes, those are my sexy-psoriassy legs!

I have Inkscape on my little notebook now and am learning how to use it, so far it is pretty fun. I am also going to be learning CSS this week through web tutorials. These two tasks seemed like they would go well together; graphic design with cascading style sheets!

Oh, also check out my blog roll at the bottom of my page. Thomas has a new blog going and is connecting it with his graphic design company. He is going to be giving away 10 free logo designs to improve upon his portfolio, so if you could use a new logo, check out his work at The Graphite Penguin.

I Dig Infographics

Wealth Inequality in America

What has been going on since 1976 that has allowed this to happen? I just can't wait to see the whole economy crash, it seems like a joke to me anyway.  Seems like it may actually benefit the majority.

I played with a little bit of the layout of the blog today. Let me know what you think or if there are any features I should add. I found a poll gadget I may use if I think of a great question to ask you all.

Goodnight world. 

Test

The weasel abides.

Things People Don't Say...ramblings

I am a pretty open person. Whether we are talking about how I handle my opinions, emotions, friendships, politics, or whatever it be. Anything I think or feel I believe I am able to share with most anyone. I do not fear the judgment of others because I am who I am and I'm just being me. Their judgments are a part of their inner world, not mine.

I believe it is this quality in myself that makes people feel like they can talk to me. Whether it be a coworker, a boss, friend, friend of friend, or a stranger, I have always been told I am very easy to talk to. Or maybe it is that I love everybody and they can sense that. Regardless, I have had a lot of people share things with me they don't share with many people.

The flip side being, I am realizing more and more I say things to people that "people don't say" or am told I do things "people don't do." It isn't really possible for me to see any other reality than my own, but let me just say this. If it is true, that I break social norms, or even taboos, please give me a break because I don't understand this world we all live in.

I am unapologetically myself. Life is too short to pretend to be anything else. I wish more people would throw fear to the wind and be themselves. Our world conditions us to fear rejection. Better to not give an answer than to give the wrong answer, right? 

Need to be told what to do? Sometimes we need a swift kick in the ass, and Karol has you covered there: 5 Ways To Grow Up, Stop Being a Fucking Crybaby, and Get Rejected, I am pretty sure this is the first post of his I read, and I loved it. 

You are intentionally making yourself vulnerable, and in doing so you gain strength and confidence. It's when we take a chance on each other that we can feel love. Sure, it sounds a little like I'm high on something, and I may be, but it is when a smile is returned we feel something. The point is to realize it doesn't matter how many times you are rejected, if you connect with a single person it is all worth it. That is what life is about, experiencing feeling.

I openly challenge the idea that life is supposed to be hard work and never ending suffering, and I encourage you to challenge this idea as well. There is a part of you, if you look inward, that has observed all the days of your life. This part of you was whole the day you were born and will be the same the day you die. It is the part of you that is able to remain unchanged by life's circumstances. Some people are more in touch with this part of themselves than others. 

Circumstances can undoubtedly require hard work and we may have to suffer through unfortunate times.

Life, on the other hand, is miraculous, beautiful and infinite. You are life, don't ever forget that. 

My original point with writing this post was that people should be more open with each other. We live in states of wondering "what if?" because we are afraid to find out. 

If you want a job, or believe you deserve a raise ask for it. 

If you make mistake, admit it so you can learn from it.   

If you find someone interesting, tell them.
Want to get to know someone better? Ask.

Miss an old friend? Give them a call.

Mostly, if you love someone, let them know. I have a very open concept for love I think. Not all love has to be romantic. There are types of love that are more shallow than that, and some types of love that transcend to a much deeper level. We all love men and women in our lives, even if it is only our parents or siblings. Also, there is this story going around that you can only love one person at a time. I heard this as early as elementary school. I hope life experience shows you how false this is; mine sure has. 

I love too easily. I know this because I have been judged for it in the past. But, once again, I don't care. I can honestly say there have been times in the past where I have even romantically loved two people at the same time. The funny thing about love is time doesn't ever seem to enter the equation. With anyone I have ever loved, it doesn't go away with time, it only changes under new life circumstances.  If it is true for me, it must be true for other people too. I think it is better to think there is more love, rather than less in our world. 

I think it is unfortunate that love is almost synonymous with attachment. I believe it is important to love without attachment, whether or not you are loved in return. I know there are a very few people I never told how close I really felt to them, and naturally, there are probably people who have never told me how they feel towards me. The same most likely goes for all of us.

Just some of the unfortunate things people don't say...

Watching the Wheels: Musical Interlude

Ladies and gents, Mr. John Lennon

Watching the Wheels

I think about the quality of these lyrics and the shit I hear on the radio and its no wonder the world seems so lost and confused. 

Let the music enlighten you.

Friendships Lost

I have been going through all the pictures on my computer. I have never been in the habit of posting all my pictures to Facebook right after I take them, so they all sit on my c drive collecting dust. I enjoyed looking through all of my travel photos of Greece, Italy, and Germany, but not as much as all my pictures from college.

I had the best group of friends. We were all pretty inseparable for a while, and a few people may still be. Even the "friends of friends" I had were amazing people. Honestly, there is only one person from my dorm I talk to on a regular basis. I am sure this is normal, as far as graduating from college and moving on with your life goes, but I really loved these people. 

Sure, most of our interactions and extracurricular events involved getting f*d up, but in the process, I know we shared genuine moments. We all helped each other through a huge transitional period in our lives. 

My feelings about this topic are much stronger than I am successfully putting into words. Sometimes I am hesitant to use the term "best friend", maybe because my little sister always gets offended. But I am going to use it here anyway, unfortunately in the past tense.

I don't talk to my best friend from college anymore. Actually, it would be more accurate to say they don't talk to me. Regardless, I think about the loss of this friendship every single day. I won't go into details for the sake of this person's privacy, but we had a fell out because I was too angry to listen or to forgive. 

I understand now, looking back, my reaction was the turning point. I would say I regret it, but I can't, you see. Even though we have not spoken in years, I know this person would not have the life they have now had I not done what I did in the moment. My life would probably be different as well. Unfortunately my feelings on regret won't change how much I miss this person. 

You live and you learn. No one said it is easy, or that it feels good to reflect on mistakes, but they will change you. I am not the same person I was before college. I cherish interactions more than I used to, and I am less judgmental. 

If You Eat Food, Read This

I have been looking  at all of the "diets" that are out there, particularly the ones that target promoting health and battling chronic conditions (gluten-free, anti-inflammatory, psoriasis, diabetes, vedic, etc.). The common thread through all of these diet plans is consuming "high water content foods". Which is predominantly fruits and vegetables. I believe the raw vegan diet, though one of the most restrictive, is the most ideal.

After having spent a year on the gluten-free diet, my advice to anyone wanting to improve on their health would be to pick something and stick with it. Even if you don't have a "good reason" to stop eating gluten or meat, or non-organic, or high-fructose corn syrup, cutting something out of your diet will force you to stop and think about whatever is on your plate.  This is the key.

You can't trust food labeling as it is regulated by the same government agency regulating pharmaceuticals. Many of the items presented to us as "food" are nothing more than poison. We need to learn for ourselves how to tell the difference.

If cancer and heart disease can be cured by your diet, which many argue has been done, then it is also true that your diet can cause cancer and heart disease as well. In my personal opinion, this means  food corporations are the leading cause of death in the United States. After that, we are left with the messy picture of medical mistakes and drug deaths, which leaves medicine as the #3 cause of death.

This article goes as far to argue that medical errors are already the #1 cause of death, but explains why you won't see it listed by the CDC.

Understanding you are in control of what you put in your body is a big step. Once you begin to take control, you will feel how powerful it is. You will be more in tuned with your body and it will ask you for what it needs.

Eat well and live well!

Food Cures

I just came across this article that really inspired me to improve my habits. You're welcome :)

For 28 years I suffered with a skin affliction known as psoriasis. My entire body, from the top of my head to the soles of my feet, was covered with large blotches, which were covered with scale like formation. I consulted many doctors, and in this way spent much money, but my condition grew steadily worse. 

Then I heard of Dr. Clements and I was told that he was very successful in securing marvelous results in all sorts of ailments, and especially in chronic ailments of long standing. I also learned that he gave no drugs, but employed only the simple agencies of Nature in his work. This was a new kind of doctor to me, and coupled with the remarkable stories I heard of his work, I was anxious to see what he could do for me. So I lost no time in going to him.

Think of my surprise when I say that Dr. Clements did not proceed to make the long, tiresome and expensive examinations, which are the customary practice with medical men. Dr. Clements simply looked at the eruptions on my arms and body, then asked me how long I had been in that condition, what I had done for it, and what my habits were as to eating, drinking and so on. 

I confessed to him that I had been a heavy eater of meats and pastries, - but whoever had any idea such foods have anything to do with an eruption on the skin? Do not physicians advise patients to eat plenty of good, nourishing food? And are meats and pastries not such food? 

I also confessed that I smoked cigarettes, and occasionally drank whisky and other alcoholic drinks. 

What did Dr. Clements prescribe? Well, I had anticipated something wonderful, something extra-ordinary; so when he told me what to do, it was such a shock that I know just how Naaman must have felt, when Elisha sent a messenger unto him, saying: "Go and wash Jordaan and be clean." Dr.Clements merely advised me to eat only uncooked foods, drink only water, quit smoking and drinking, and observe all the habits of health such as exercise, cleanliness, sunshine etc. He told me that by these methods we build health, and that as we build health we cure disease. 

How simple. Why did I never think of that before? We cure disease by building health, and we destroy health by building disease, by bad habits. How can the average man discover anything so simple and so profoundly true, when his mind is befogged by the absurd education of the age, which teaches that disease results from germs, chilly winds, dampness, pollen from various wild flowers, and so on. There are people in large cities like New York, Chicago, Philadelphia who suffer from hay-fever, but who never saw a load of hay. 

We build disease by bad habits, and we build health by good habits, and as we build health we cure disease or as we build disease we destroy health. How marvelous! How simple! 

I can see now as never could before, that if health-building rules were as well and as widely known as musical and mathematical rules, diseases would soon disappear.

Yes, Dr.Clements ordered me to eat no more cooked foods – to my great surprise. Dr. Clements advised me to select my food from substances that grow above the ground. Things that grow under ground, such as roots and tubers, have less vitality. Leafy green vegetables, and fruits such as melons, berries, grapes, says Dr.Clements, are what men should eat if they are interested in having good health. 

I was so convinced with the soundness of his argument, that I left his office feeling like a fool because I had lived all these years and had not found the simple truths of Nature which he expounded to me so clearly in less than an hour'’ time. 

The 45 minutes that I spent in his office are really worth more to me than all the schooling and training of all the years gone by. ‘For what doth it profit a man if he gains the whole world and loses his health and life’? 

I rigidly observed Dr. Clement’s advice for three long weeks, eating things I had never eaten before in that condition. Just the plain uncooked cabbage and tomatoes as they came from the garden. Then I ate nuts. I also ate oranges, and bananas and apples, and drank only water. For three weeks I did this- and no appreciable change could I notice. I began to grow discouraged. I reported to Dr.Clements and told him that I believed he was wrong. But he urged me to stick to it a while longer. I did so at his earnest request. He appeared to have so much faith in the things he told me; and if his past experience had shown him that he was right, how could I have less faith in his advice than he had himself? 

One week more passed by. Four long weeks on this diet. It seemed like a year. But the fourth week was not so bad, nor did it seem so long as the first. I was beginning to like the new diet. It did not seem to leave such a tired, heavy feeling in my stomach and bowels. A bowl of finely chopped cabbage, lettuce, and celery made me a good meal, and it seemed so light on my stomach that I did not know I had a stomach. So different from the old feeling after a heavy meal of the old style. 

One more week went by, as I said. And what began to happen in that week? Could it be possible? Yes, it was true. The irritation was growing fainter. The large ugly red blotches, which had covered my flesh from childhood, were growing pale and smaller. The scale-like formation was gradually disappearing. The new skin was smooth and considerably clearer, and the itching, burning sensation, which used to grow so marked when I perspired, was growing less and less. 

When it finally dawned upon me that my condition was improving, I bubbled over with joy. I called on Dr. Clements and told him what was happening. I thought he would be surprised, but he wasn’t. He said that the rising of the summer sun did not surprise him as the event is governed by a law that cannot be defied. The human body is governed by a law just as fixed and certain. He said that he knew my condition would improve just as sure as the ebb and flow of the tide, provided I would follow his advice long enough. What an extraordinary doctor! And what faith he has in his methods! I wish I could tell the whole world about it. 

It has now been several months since my entire body has become free of that terrible affliction, which I had begun to believe I would carry to my grave. I have been through the fire and learned my lessons well. I only regret that I cannot tell what I know to millions of suffering souls. 

Just one more word before I close. Never mix your food. Eat one kind of food at a meal. I mean follow the mono-diet system. When you eat vegetables, eat only vegetables; when you eat berries, eat only berries; when you eat oranges, eat only oranges; and when you eat nuts, let nuts make up the entire meal.

source

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Opinions Please!

When I started this blog it was intended to be a short term thing. I wanted to get myself writing and didn't really care where or who sees it. 99% of my now over 500 page view have come straight from my friends on Facebook. I haven't been worried at all about promoting my blog otherwise, or advertising on it either. My plan is to eventually narrow down my writing style/topics and design it myself. I am getting close to being able to do this. There are just a few things I still need...

• domain name
• a niche
• more HTML/PHP knowledge

If anyone has any suggestions to help with anything on the list I would appreciate your input. Maybe some comments on what your favorite post has been so far. I have been intentionally varying topics and style in order to see what people are most likely to read. Yes, you are all my guinea pigs, and pretty cute ones at that. Thank you!


I also am thinking this blogging thing is a little one sided for my liking. I have thought it would be really fun to have a site where I am able to really interact with people. Maybe I could give people advice, or have a place where people could do a guest blog post, or answer a question about myself each week. I really don't know. I have also considered doing video blogging (vlogging I believe is the hip term) seeing as all this typing isn't great on my hands and I am sure you would all love to see my beautiful face more often.

Honestly, if I had to pick something right now and go with it, I would love to have people send me any kind of question, and I would do video responses. Of course this would mean I would need to get some basic video editing skills and maybe some software. I have always liked the idea of having a talk show too, so the idea of finding interesting people and doing interviews would be fun too.

I am trying to get creative in my head, so if any of you creative types don't mind throwing some seeds my way, I'd love to hear your thoughts! I don't know if i have my email visible anywhere, but it is marci.rose.baker@gmail.com. I get it if you don't want to subscribe to comment, or even do so publicly on Facebook, but feel free to email me. I wanna hear from you.

Learning: Feels Good Doin' It

The past two days I have been learning HTML. Thomas, my determined partner, has been trying to get me into programming for over a year now and I have finally succumbed to his desires.

So, I may not be posting very much new material for a little while, as I am working on learning HTML in my spare time, and Thomas and I are learning database management together in his spare time! We will be mostly learning PHP, mySQL, and SQL I believe. We are only on chapter 2 of our eBook  so it's all been very basic so far.

Both Thomas and I are huge believers in independent learning. Here's our set-up: we each have a copy of the eBook on our respective computer and take turns reading sections out loud to each other. This is a really fun way to spend time together while being productive. We regularly stop and talk about what we are reading and even look deeper into a topic together if need be. We plan to go through the whole book this way, building a database management system as we go.  

Here is a post from one of my favorite bloggers that really motivated me. I highly recommend browsing his site for a little while. He exudes honesty and personality through his writing in a way that makes him seem approachable; I think that is a good quality in a writer

Learn the Boring by Karol Gajda

I'll let you in on a secret, it is really not all that boring. I am actually having a lot of fun. Of course, this is coming from someone who did long division for fun as a child, so take everything I say with a grain of salt!

If you have never learned anything about programming the whole topic can come off as incredibly overwhelming, but if you take it gradually you can learn a really useful skill while feeling awesome about producing something on your own.

Writing in code and seeing it interpreted by a browser pretty much feels like magic.

Do you want to learn HTML with me?
Check out w3schools.com, pick a tutorial and start following it!

Peace

What blogging feels like to me...

It's like jumping into a kiddie pool of lime green paint and body slamming a half-ass Marci print onto a giant taped up piece of construction paper. 

Freedom

*
Have a baby,
we'll take it's information,
your information,
issue it an identification number,
inject this and that,
cut this part off and send you on home.
Formula is fine if you don't want to breast feed
and fluoride is no big deal, in fact it's good for you.
Go to school where we tell you,
learn what we tell you,
go to college,
get a job,
get married,
buy a house,
have a baby....
*
Conform and consume.
Fill your house with stuff,
get a cool TV,
watch this show, or that one, but you can't miss the game.

If you don't feel good, don't complain because no one does.
If you have to complain, do what the Doctor says, he knows best.

Don't call, text.
It's not real until it's on Facebook.
What the fuck is a tweet?

Pick a side, red or blue then
talk about what we tell you to.
Outside is dirty and dangerous.
Be afraid, stay close to home.
They are different than us and they hate us for it,
that is why we have war,
that is why we must fight,
For freedom.
That's just the way it is.

Superbugs and Greedy Pharmaceuticals

Honestly people, this scares the shit out of me and it should you too.

If there is an apocalypse coming, it's this one, and capitalism will be to blame.

MDR TB stands for Multi-Drug Resistant Tuberculosis. I just learned there is now also XDR (extremely drug resistant) and TDR (total drug resistant). Just to give you an idea, the map below shows in yellow all affected regions - not joking. If you want to read what the boxes say about each area, click the "bigger map" link.

Bigger map

MRSA is methicillin-resistant Staphylococcus aureus. Below you will see a prevalence map from 2006 and a graph of prevalence change in the US from 1993-2005. The page these images came from has a lot of good information.


First off, this is not a hypothetical conspiracy theory about evil pharmaceuticals. 
This is a true horror story of the world we live in. 

Antibiotics were one of the first miracles of pharmaceuticals. Penicillin was isolated from bread mold and wha-bam! We think we've got the bugs beat. But bacteria is alive, and living things evolve. If you are one of those on the fence about evolution, let me enlighten you to the process.

When you take antibiotics the bacteria in your body begin to be killed. If you stop taking the antibiotics before all the bad bacteria (and most likely all your good bacteria along with it) has died, the remaining bacteria in your body will begin to reproduce again, but this time it is resistant to the drug you just used to treat it. Bacteria learn, grow and evolve very quickly. So you go back to the doctor because you are sick again, only this time the drug doesn't work. You need a different one. This is why your doctor will always tell you to finish and round of antibiotics you are given.

So, we have sick people running around with drug-resistant bacteria and it begins to spread.

Now, I hope there is not a voice in the back of your head saying, "Well this is America, we have great medicine, smart doctors, and a multi-billion dollar pharmaceutical industry! Surely this can't affect me."

If you are thinking something along those line, I hate to be the one to tell you this; Western medicine DOES NOT CARE about you. That is, unless you are a big bag of money. We don't have health care, we have sick care. My Naturopath told me once, "People go to the doctor when they are sick and come to me when they want to get healthy." Moving on to the real evil... Pharmaceuticals.

Just look at this. I added up the revenue from the top 10 companies on this list and came up with $404,650,000. That is the number for 2009. I hope to convince you of why these companies are so successful and how they are willing to kill just about anybody for their profits.

Oh, Marci, that's harsh. You really think drug companies are killing people?
Absolutely! 

In the US, the annual death rate, as a direct result of medical treatment, is 225,000 people. Of those, 106,000 are killed by FDA-approved pharmaceutical drugs. The other 119,000 are killed by medical mistreatment in hospitals. This makes medically caused death the third leading cause of mortality in America.

These numbers put Western medicine in the Top 3 list for causes of death in the US. Okay, so those are the people killed every year by the drugs that are approved and out there being used in hospitals, and being prescribed by doctors. But guess what, those are not the only people that will die due to pharmaceutical companies.

Drug companies do not want to put time and money in researching and developing new antibiotics because these types of drugs are generally cheaper and taken for short periods of time rarely. They would much rather continue making Viagra and Prozac, or any other pill they can convince you to take for the rest of your life. If you read Race against time to develop new antibiotics, an article from WHO you will see that I am not making this up. These are not my opinions. Corporations care about profit, not people. 

With that in mind, I strongly urge you, before you take another pill, or pick up your next prescription ask yourself, "Is this for my health or for their profits?" I can guarantee you there is no profit for the people that make your pills if you get healthy, so what on Earth makes so many people convinced that this is what the pills are for?  

So what is the moral of the story? Pharmaceutical have enabled bacteria to become more dangerous more quickly than they ever could have on their own. With the way the FDA works, it takes about 10 years to get a new drug through the development pipeline, which at the moment is practically empty. There are only 5 companies even working on this and only about 15 potentially effective new antibiotics currently being worked on.

Oh, and not to mention the effect antibiotics in food has had. Shit. Well, I have said enough. You can follow this further if you'd like but it doesn't get any prettier. Pandemics happen fast and these superbugs are already on the rise all over the world. It is simply a matter of time.

Here is a recent news article I leave you with: The Rise of Superbugs Called Apocalyptic Scenario

Enjoy

Wake the Fuck Up and Stop Playing Along

Do you know what hegemony is?

From Wikipedia:

In Marxist philosophy, cultural hegemony describes the domination of a culturally diverse society by the ruling class, who manipulate the culture of the society — the beliefs, explanations, perceptions, values, and mores — so that their ruling-class Weltanschauung becomes the worldview that is imposed and accepted as the cultural norm; as the universally valid dominant ideology that justifies the social, political, and economic status quo as natural and inevitable, perpetual and beneficial for everyone, rather than as artificial social constructs that benefit only the ruling class.

Got it?

So, a culturally diverse society who has been dominated by their rulers, which invented the status quo. The majority accept and go along with their social, political, and economic situation as natural and inevitable, perpetual, and even good for them, when in reality the only people benefiting are those in control.

Sounds like home to me!

So when I am bitching and complaining
about money ruining the world,
or corrupt politicians,
or the fact that there are millions of empty houses and millions of homeless families in our country,
or that college cost so much fucking money,
or that 99% of our news is propaganda,
or that there is no real privacy left in our country,
or that 90% of our "food" and "medicine" are actually poison,
or that toxic nuclear waste is added to drinking water and passed off as good for you,
or even that I am expected to work and pay taxes,
or how about that gift of citizenship I received after my birth being registered with the government...
Don't say to me, "That is just the way the world works," because I know it is hegemony. 
You would be wrong; I would be right.

You see, with the way the "news" is owned, and the CIA watching everyone's every move on Facebook, or Google, the ruling class is manipulating and dominating our culture.

Don't believe me? Open your eyes. Wake up. What you see on the news is not an accident, it is a plan in action.

Are you...
Republican or Democrat?
pro-choice or pro-life?
for or against gun control, gays, or marijuana?

Talking points are distraction points. As long as we are busy arguing with each other about one thing or another we are as useless as we are when we stare mindlessly into the TV. The USA is the modern day Rome, and our leaders have borrowed and updated the mind control tactics that were used.

As long as we are kept entertained, distracted and disconnected the hegemony will continue. I think most people know this is all true on some level, but it is easier, more convenient, and more comfortable to just go along with it all. Hence why it works so well.

I'll bet anything every ruler we have ever had has read The Prince by Machiavelli. Written 500 years ago, he explains quite clearly how to rule over people. If you want to understand how you are ruled over so easily I recommend reading it. It's short if that helps, and I have the interesting parts hi-lighted in my copy if you would like to borrow it.

The biggest lie in America is that we are free.
What is freedom anyway? Certainly not closed borders, national ID cards, needing a licence for everything, being subject to the authority of others?

Of course we are free to bow out, renounce our citizenship, and become stateless. Ironically the government warns against this, as it may be quite dangerous for you to not have their protection. It ironic because they are the ones who may ship you off somewhere or throw you in prison for the rest of your life.

We are also free to stop playing along, drop our roles, be our true genuine selves, and take back our own minds, and create a better world that actually benefits the majority of people. Anything is possible.

Stop the hegemony.

Wake the fuck up and start making the world a better place. Aren't you sick of pretending this is the world you would choose?

Reality; Fuck It

I am sick of the conditioned part of myself that tries to pretend nothing is wrong. I am also sick of my need to not bother other people with my pain. I hurt all of the time, and will for the foreseeable future. I wake up in pain and spend every waking moment trying to feel better, just to go to bed still in pain. This is my life and has been for around three years now.

I realized this morning that part of the reason I am reluctant to walk my dog when I am in a lot of pain is because I don't want other people to see me in pain. I hate people feeling bad for me, or asking if I am okay. As I think about it, I am sure this is the same reason I quit hanging out with a lot of people over the years. I don't need a pity party, and I assumed my real friends would come see me. Now I live in a different town. I don't hang out with anyone here. I don't want to live here at all, but what choice do I have? I can't work enough to pay my own rent. I am miserable.

I am getting worn down. I have debt and I don't know how I am ever going to make enough money.

Oh, work. How I have been treated like a worthless piece of shit by so many employers. Some were nice enough to pretend to cared about my condition before putting me on a medical leave I never asked for, others made a point to let me know I wasn't worth my paycheck before firing me. I even have a last pay stub that says in bold red letters "terminated for medical reasons". Those three jobs were just last year.

I have tried very hard not to let these things get to me, but they do. I still apply for jobs, though I am not sure why. I guess I don't want to give up yet. The ADA exists, but good luck finding anyone who isn't disabled that gives a shit.

That's all for now. I'm kinda sick of writing here because the people that read it don't tell me, except for three people, and everyone else I actually see in real life doesn't care. I can write for myself in a fucking journal.

The world doesn't want to change, and people don't want to be happy. I'm not going to be the one to change that. That's reality.

*********************************************************

The really cool thing about the digital age is anyone can change history. Two days ago I said, fuck it. But now I'd rather burden all of you readers with all the things that make me furious in this world. From here on out I will try to write about the ways I believe our world is flawed, and also provide examples of other ways we can live, maybe better ways to do things. I know I don't pretend this is a world I want to bring children into, or even live in the way it is for the rest of my life. I want to expand people's minds, help them see that change is easy, peace is just sitting around waiting for us to stop fucking around and enjoy it.

So, from here on out, I will try to be the change I want to see in the world. I just get moody sometimes, okay? Get over it!

Absolutely Free to be Funny: Osho

Yesterday I came across Osho through a great website called The Guru of You. On this site, there is a video library of the best known "enlightened masters" and links to all of their most popular discourses. I decided to check out Osho.

If you want a place to start, I really enjoyed this video: Absolutely Free to be Funny.

I find him to be captivating. While browsing his website I came across something he said about language limiting people. He suggested allowing yourself to, as a meditation, speak in sounds that are not of a language you know. He claimed this will open your mind.

I like it! Of course, people close to me would tell you I already walk around making strange unexplained noises at times, like a little kid. I have never done this intentionally, I sometimes just feel compelled to express a sound along with an emotion, I am just simply not filtering myself. Sometimes people think this makes me weird, and that's okay.

So apart from the fact that this seemed to be the cookie to my cookie-crumb idea, I also have a similar practice with movement I have only mentioned to a few people, but am deciding to share seeing as it is a practice I enjoy.

Everyday, pretty much since I first practiced yoga, I make a conscious effort to move differently. Some days I just stretch, others I will practice yoga, and usually, in addition to those practices I try to move my body in a way I do not usually move, or have not moved before.

In our daily lives our movements are very limited. We sit, stand, walk, kneel, crawl and lay down to sleep. Granted there are millions of people who do a lot more, for example hard laborers, athletes, yogis, dancers, etc. These aren't the kind of moving I am talking about though.

I'm talking about unconditioned movement. Like, you are shaking your head around with your tongue hanging out of your mouth, or swinging your arms as far as you can in every direction and your boyfriend wants to know what the hell you are doing. I do this to relax and loosen up my joints. Once you stop caring how you look - that's when it feels good. It is freeing in a way. Be you! Don't limit yourself.

I would bet Osho's non-language speaking has the same kind of effect. We are so conditioned, we need to always remember to look to our children for truth, for they are not yet conditioned away from their true selves. Even Jesus said to be like the children if you want to enter the kingdom of heaven. Remember, freedom is not complicated, it is the most simple experience there is; just be.

...and don't ever forget to play.

Marci
~With love

Are You a Skeptic?

I started another book tonight, even though I am already partially into six other books right now.

I picked this book up at Robert's used book store over a year ago. For those who aren't familiar, it is the largest used book store on the Oregon Coast and I highly recommend checking it out if you are ever in Lincoln City. I have been going there since I was a kid.

So I just started reading this book. It was published in 1959. I love old books. What bugs me the most about the internet and e-books is they never seem permanent or real. And they have no smell to them! Also, there is so much information contained in old books that you just can't find online. I also enjoy holding a book in my hand and reading it. Needless to say, I don't own an e-reader or tablet of any kind. I have enough books on my shelves to keep me busy for a while anyway.

Anyway, back to the title of this post: Are you a skeptic? Do you believe you know what is possible and what isn't? Of course to some extent most people will answer "yes" to this question. I think there is some merit to being skeptical, but not to the detriment of knowledge. When we are so certain of a truth we are not willing to even hear any other ideas or contradictions we stop learning.

I am mentioning this because in the first two chapters of this book the author, Harold, blames skepticism for continually holding back psychical research. He claims most scientists worried for their reputations if they came out in support of such "out there" ideas. Also, people who have had a "paranormal" experience historically are unlikely to talk about it for fear of being judged by others.

I believe the topic he was discussing in 1959 is just as relevant, if not more so today. With all of our advancements with technology and the extreme leaps humans have made externally in the last 150 years, we still do not have a true understanding of our minds. Science by its very definition excludes any understanding of the mind. As we all learned in school science can state something is true or false, possible or impossible based solely on observable, repeatable experiments.

But what if every aspect of our life, existence, or universe is not observable with our five senses, or repeatable? Can we know nothing of the intangible because scientific discourse finds itself at a loss?

Of course we can, and we do. Have you ever felt the presence of a past loved one either while dreaming or awake? Maybe you had a dream of something that came true, or you have seen or felt a ghost. Maybe you have a friend that texts you every time you are thinking about them, or your mom calls you right as you are grabbing your phone to call her. There are infinite scenarios. Whether you tell someone about your experience or not, it is real to you.

So I implore you to consider expanding your idea of what is possible. Everything you have experienced in your life and everything you will experience is already possible. Multiply that by the billions of souls on Earth, the billions that have passed and the billions yet to come; do you still believe you know what is possible and what isn't? Because I know I don't. But I am open-minded and do my best to never be skeptical of another person's experiences, for undoubtedly, those experiences are as real to them as yours are to you.

Lastly, we shouldn't be afraid to talk to each other about any strange, psychic, paranormal or blissful things we have experienced. As I talk to people about my own experiences I often find I am not alone, which is a good feeling.

Well that is all for tonight, I am going back to Exploring the Unseen World.

Marci
~With love

Ma Nithya Sudevi's Conspiracy Against Enlightenment -

I came across this video blog on YouTube called The Conspiracy Against Enlightenment. It is based on her blog where she outlines a 10 step program to free yourself from the system put in place by those in power to keep you believing you are nothing more than a consumer.

The first few videos are just her reading from her blog, but she decides those were too boring and becomes more conversational. I found all of the videos watchable and quite interesting. She has a video discussing each of the ten steps, so if only one looks interesting, check it out.

This is straight off her blog manithyasudevi.blogspot.com:

In ascending order, starting with the physical, moving into the mental, and finally the spiritual, the 10 steps to free yourself from the international conspiracy against enlightenment are:

1. Do not consume any fluoride, ever.

2. Do not consume any aspertame, ever.

3. Avoid eating genetically modified, non-organic and highly processed, “foods.” 

4. Avoid watching television.

5. Question your education.

6. Re-evaluate the validity of popular opinion.

7. Look within yourself to discover who you are.

8. Keep a Regular Spiritual Routine.

9. Drop all the judgements you have against those who are not ready to make the same changes you’re making.

10. Let Enlightenment be your number one priority!

~

The title of this blog may have you wondering, “Umm... Sudevi, what’s with the conspiracy theory?” 

In a nutshell, the international conspiracy against enlightenment is not a theory, it’s truth. As a world community, our freedom is not in the hands of a benevolent spiritual governing body dedicated to peace, love and bliss; rather, it’s controlled by a minority group of greedy strategists who are oath-bound and sworn to dominate us, profit from us, and keep us in a state of ignorant dependency. 

Almost every experience we have in this world has been tweaked to keep us dependent upon those who do the tweaking. The food we eat, the water we drink, the jobs we fill, the entertainment we distract ourselves with, the medicines we ingest, and especially the politicians we turn to for help... all of it, the entire mass marketed global enterprise we call “home” is a gilded cage for our consciousness.

I recommend you check it out if this at all resonates with you. I already had some of the knowledge she brings forward, but other information I found more shocking. In the last few days I have been doing a lot of reading about water fluoridation, starseeds, and a bunch of other stuff.

If you aren't familiar with fluoride toxicity, aspartame poisoning, GMO foods, food pyramid propaganda, pharmaceuticals keeping you sick, advertising's effect on the brain, and the severe lack of spirituality in our culture you should really check this out. If you are often anxious, depressed, sick, lonely, lost, or generally not happy or finding the enjoyment in life you are not alone. The system is designed to make you feel this way; it is only when we become aware of it and make healthy choices for ourselves we can break free from the cycle of suffering.


I hope there is something here that resonates with you, I think it is information worth sharing.

Marci
~With love

My Experience with Kratom

The Kratom tree, or Mitragyna speciosa, is native to Southeast Asia. I happened across this plant while searching for natural pain remedies. I have read kratom is used for many other medical purposes as well such as depression, diabetes, IBS, opioid withdrawals  and sexual arousal, but I am going to focus on the effects it has on my chronic pain. If you happen to suffer from any of these ailments I recommend reading more into the subject.

I am not going to discuss dosage or strength, because you can read what you want about that and make that decision for yourself. Even though there has never been a reported overdose, it is best to be on the safe side and educate yourself. Since I am on the topic of safety, I should mention kratom can be a controversial topic. It is not entirely clear whether the plant has addictive properties or not, but if it does, they are mild. Personally, this is not my biggest concern considering it does not have any negative side-effects or withdrawal symptoms.

Before I begin describing the effects of kratom I want to make this clear - I am not recommending you go out and try and get high on this stuff. If you do, you will most likely be mildly disappointed. You will find it advertised as a "legal high", but in my opinion the effects are pretty subtle. It is this kind of talk of "legal highs" that make legislators freak out and make plants they know nothing about illegal. Kratom is not on the federal drug schedule yet, but it is on the DEA's list of "drugs of concern". Though, some states have passed laws banning kratom on a state level. I am in Oregon and here it is legal. If you aren't - I don't recommend you break the law, but instead consider writing your legislator.

So, I have purchased kratom in Eugene and online. You can find it in powder, capsules, or as crushed leaves. I have even seen some extracts for sale, but I am not interested in extractions so I have no comment there. I purchase powder because it is the cheapest and I mix it in drinks. It takes about 10-20 minutes for the effects to start kicking in and they seem to last about four hours.

In smaller doses you get a sort of stimulant effect, like coffee. As you raise the dose the pain relieving compounds are felt more. It is very similar to the feeling of an opioid but also different. My joints feel warm and fluid, I can't stop smiling, and I feel like I could do anything. My range of movement is also immediately improved.

Compared to prescription pain killers there isn't a bigger contrast. When I used to take pain killers I lost most of the use of my mind, felt sick to my stomach, was constipated, and they pretty much just made me not care that I was in pain. Plus they are extremely addictive. If anyone reading this has chronic pain, and especially if you are on narcotic drugs or don't have insurance, I cannot stress enough how much I recommend trying kratom.

Don't just take my word for it, read and learn more here. After the first time I tried kratom I knew it would change my life. I was literally in tears because it was the first time in years I was pain free.

I have continued my research into natural remedies and have ordered some new herbs, all legal of course. If any of these turn out to be nearly as helpful I will write to share them with you as well.

Marci
~With love

One of those days...

The beach was beautiful today; maybe pictures tomorrow?

Can't look at computer... eye's hurt, brain might explode.

Migraine.

Lights off.

Marci,
~With love

The Flower of Life

We are all connected. Even though we each live in our own little world, our world's overlap, like a Venn diagram. The image above is often referred to as the Flower of Life. I am very into sacred geometry, as I believe it is the closest link we have to bridging science and spirituality. This pattern is simply made from 61 overlapping circles. It is representative of countless natural processes in nature, including cell replication. I believe it is also a great visual representation of how we all co-create our world.  

Imagine each circle is a human life. An independent entity, but infinitely connected to the whole. If you are at all interested in this, I highly recommend reading more into it. There is a lot of pretty cool information out there. Here is a simple image showing where this comes from, and how you can draw it for yourself.

If you are anything like me, you easily become overwhelmed by the woes of the world, and want to do everything you can to make it a better, brighter, more loving place than it seems to be. It seems like such a simple idea: a world full of compassion, sharing, love, and peace. It is here, all around us, but it can only be real if we pay attention, much like silence.

Naturally, I wish I could make everyone think like me. Alas, life just doesn't work that way. My dad once told me, "The hardest thing in the world to do is to change yourself, so what makes you think you will ever be able to change someone else?" It seemed so true, I almost laughed. Ever since, I have focus inward, attempting to make myself the best person I can be. Positive change internally creates positive effects externally. If I become better, then maybe in a small way, so has the world.

Be the ripple that knows it is also the river. Let life dance through you.

That's all for now Friends,

Marci
~With love

Thoughts on Lucid Dreaming

After missing a few days of writing over the weekend I am determined not to miss any more. So prepare yourselves for low quality posts occasionally!

I guess I will write a bit about lucid dreaming tonight. It seems like everyone I talk to has had some sort of experience with this to varying extents. If you are unfamiliar with the term, it is when you gain consciousness in a dream. For most people this seems to be a rare, but fun experience. Recently I have been practicing wake induced lucid dreaming, or WILD.

I think most of us are so exhausted when we go to bed at night we just hit the bed and fall asleep. We don't think too much about the transition our bodies and minds make from waking to sleeping. I started paying attention to these states when I decided bedtime was a good time for me to practice my meditation, seeing as I often had trouble falling asleep. I found myself drifting into strange states of consciousness; staying conscious long after, or what seemed to be long after sleep paralysis was induced. This was my starting point into lucid dream research.

You can google this topic for yourself, but I believe you will find a lot more than you expect. Check out lucid dreaming, MILD and WILD methods, and astral projection. If you choose to dive down this rabbit hole as I have, enjoy! It can be a roller coaster of a ride.

Goodnight, and sweet dreams!

Marci
~With love

Archaeology, Balance, and The Beatles

Everything in the known universe exists is the most majestic sort of balance. From the cosmic to the atomic level the same beauty sings through the balance and order of all existence.

Humans were a part of this as well, until about 13,000 years ago. That's when the evidence starts getting really strange. If you aren't familiar with some of the more unadvertised archaeological finds check out these sites:

Gobekli Tepe - 11,000 year old monolithic site in Turkey

If you read this article they will tell you this whole site was built by hunter-gatherers that had yet to invent metal tools or pottery. What do you think?

The reliefs on these giant stones are astounding considering their age. The reason this site has been preserved so well is because it was intentionally buried.

Yonaguni Monument - 10,000 year old lost city off the coast of Japan

There is a lot of debate following this site it seems. Was it built when the sea level was lower or did tectonic plate movement sink it to the bottom of the ocean? Either way, it old and it is huge.




Those are just a couple of examples of finds that at the very least through a kink in our understanding of human history. Current academic archaeologists will tell you we were hunter-gatherers 10,000 years ago. Unless we were hunter-gatherers living in huge cities building monolithic temples, the Earth has a different story.

Either way, for a long time now, human have not existed in balance with the rest of the universe. We ABSOLUTELY know this. We affect and destroy what is around us. In fact, we have been and still are creating desserts all over our planet.

The world works in a constant balance, it may shift, but it will inevitably shift back. I believe we are about to shift, in one way or another. For a very long time, humans have been balancing their lifestyles on each other. For one continent to have excess another starves. Until we collectively see this, accept it, and move toward change we will be heading in the same downward spiral direction we are headed in right now. If this happens, I believe we will finish destroying one another.

We all know how easy it can be to simply say, "Don't waste that, there are starving kids in Africa," but that is only the first step; seeing. It is great that it is so easy to see some of the biggest problems in the world. The next step is accepting: very different. This step involves forgiveness: letting go of the past, and surrender: letting go of the future.

We need to collectively accept that we have created our world, and forgive ourselves and every other responsible party. Any one person can practice this, it is not a religious thing I am talking about. The trick to forgiveness is to realize your past, or anyone else's, has no control over the present moment, unless you let it. Once you are able to forgive, the past holds no power over your thoughts, which is why I call it letting go of the past. This can be the most difficult or the easiest thing you have ever done, it just depends on your mind.

Surrender to the future: just let go. Stop planning, needing, wanting. For anyone who enjoys the bible, didn't Jesus say "don't worry for the morrow takes care of itself"? It is no more complicated than that. If Jesus doesn't do it for you, how about The Beatles?

There's nothing you can do that can't be done.

Nothing you can sing that can't be sung.

Nothing you can say but you can learn how to play the game.

Nothing you can make that can't be made.

No one you can save that can't be saved.

Nothing you can do but you can learn how to be you in time.

Nothing you can know that isn't known.

Nothing you can see that isn't shown.

Nowhere you can be that isn't where you're meant to be.

It's easy. 

If we can all gather in the present moment with knowledge, acceptance, and surrender I believe the universe will help bring balance back to humans. I also know we humans can do this on our own. Although we have become quite clever, we still have our natural intelligence, as do all animals.  We can fix the problems we have created.

The evolution of our minds has changed humans more than becoming bipedal did. We see our self as one life all alone in the universe floating along, clinging to things as time rolls by until inevitably big evil death comes to take away everything you just worked so hard for. Don't feel bad though, coral polyps feel the same way, experiencing an individual reality when they are actually just one small part of a whole.  

I am writing this today because balance is something I have not yet been able to find in my personal life. My pursuit of this balance though, is why I believe so strongly in the role our mind plays. I can have peace, even though at times it seems to pass all understanding, but balance I can not have, or create. There are too many factors that enter my life on a daily basis that are out of my control and seem to disrupt any temporary balance I seem to find - be it a person, event, the weather, money, or pain - something seems to throw a kink in it.

In writing this I realize one person can not create balance - it by definition involves everything. So, surrender must be the answer.

This is my dream,

Imagine there's no heaven 

It's easy if you try 

No hell below us 

Above us only sky 

Imagine all the people 

Living for today... 

Imagine there's no countries 

It isn't hard to do 

Nothing to kill or die for 

And no religion too 

Imagine all the people 

Living life in peace... 

Imagine no possessions 

I wonder if you can 

No need for greed or hunger 

A brotherhood of man 

Imagine all the people 

Sharing all the world... 

You may say I'm a dreamer 

But I'm not the only one 

I hope someday you'll join us 

And the world will live as one

Sorry I didn't write for a few days!

Marci
~With love